How to ‘affair-proof’ your marriage: Sex expert’s tips to stopping your husband or wife from straying

Being unfaithful in a marriage can be the most agonising trauma for anyone to endure.
No-one sets out to cheat in a relationship – but sadly, infidelity happens far too often.

Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein said nothing can ‘affair-proof’ your marriage because each infidelity is different – but there are things you can do to help prevent your husband or wife from straying.

Here, the relationship expert, from Sydney, offers her advice – and the tell-tale signs to look out for that could lead people to committing adultery.

Talk through your definitions of infidelity

Justify an affair to your partner to find out what exactly constitutes Cheat!ng.
‘Talk about it,’ Dr Goldstein told Daily Mail Australia.

‘Ask each other “what’s an affair? What’s infidelity?” Some people might think flirting online with others is not Cheat!ng – but your partner might feel utterly deceived.

‘Cheat!ng doesn’t mean Pen!s in vagina. If you say you are going out for a drink with the girls but you are meeting a guy – that’s deceitful.

‘We all have a different definition to Cheat!ng but whatever the definition you take, if you’re hiding something from your partner because you know it will hurt them, then you’re being deceitful.

‘If that’s the case, take a hard look at your life and give yourself a swift kick reality check.’
She urged couples to sit down together and spell out exactly what behaviours are acceptable and what’s unacceptable.

Communication
‘Always address the issues – don’t sweep your problems under the carpet. Always understand all relationships are not made to be perfect,’ she said.

‘If you’re that person who thinks affairs would never happen to you – you’re more at risk of having it so always communicate.

‘Have that awkward conversation because it’s the smartest way to avoid any affairs from happening.

‘Ask each other “what could happen if one of us has an affair?” or “how would we feel if one of us cheated?” – you both need to understand the consequences.

‘Look at what works best for us in our relationship. Are you having a healthy sex life? If you’re not having enough sex, address what’s going on in the bedroom. Not enough sex is actually an issue for some people.

‘If you see that as a problem in your relationship, talk about it. Asking your partner why they’re not having sex could hold the answer to your problems.’

‘Not communicating can lead to affairs so be open, and ask each other “what do you think leads to affairs?” for you and your partner.’

Look at the red flags that could lead to Cheat!ng
‘Ignoring the warning signs can lead to Cheat!ng so look at all the red flags for you and your partner,’ she said.

‘If you notice your partner pulling away from you or they feel disconnected in the relationship, talk about it with them.’

Dr Goldstein said other signs to look out for was any suspicious behaviour.
‘Another sign is if your partner is hiding things like their laptop or phone, or if a charge on their credit card bill doesn’t look right,’ she said.

‘Look at the opposite, someone could be overcompensating, lavishing you with dinners and gifts – and you think: “Hang on here, what’s going on?”‘

Trust your instinct
If you have been in a very strong marriage, you are much more likely to instinctively know something is wrong.

‘Always trust your instinct,’ she said.

‘Far too often, women think “we’re crazy, I’m just acting jealous or it’s probably not true” – but if you know something doesn’t add up, you need to speak to your partner about it.’

 

 

The post How to ‘affair-proof’ your marriage: Sex expert’s tips to stopping your husband or wife from straying appeared first on GL Trends.